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In a true wild west manner, we would like to introduce you to our newest fetish – gathering the funniest jokes related to gambling, cards and table games. Funny Gambling Quotes. Thanksgiving isn't Thanksgiving without the works: turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce. I said, “No it doesn’t. In a nutshell, that is gambling for you. Yes, ’cause when you get a good hand, you have to know how to use a casino strategy well. Gambling Jokes And Puns: “Why was the tiger mad at. ”. Marriage is like a deck of cards. Similar to a couple of the jokes mentioned earlier, this one loses its meaning when translated into English. A bum asks a man for a dollar. The primary reason you should opt for an eco-friendly lifestyle is to become more environmentally responsible. Treatment for compulsive gambling may include these approaches: Therapy. It is too far for them to walk. Whether it’s online slots, blackjack, roulette, video poker, three card poker, or Texas hold’em – a strong selection of games is essential for any online casino. Jokes and laughter can make you feel way lighter, hence making your dance routine easier for you to pull off because stress can be an energy killer. Sol pauses for a moment before responding, “I dunno. Gambling is a serious activity, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for some fun too. — Tiger Woods will rise. You re already a winner. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. As soon as hesaw the dog, he was surprised and curious at the same time. See the difference?The dice were “rolling” in my favor, I was on cloud nine. Here are a few poker jokes from a few well-known comedians themselves with a few gambling and Las Vegas jokes thrown in. " The guy shrugs and puts up all the chips and the dealer deals him an 19 - against the dealer's 6. Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in. ”. Gambling Addict Jokes. Here are some whimsical quotes about gambling from various forms of media (and a few lighthearted bonus jokes at the end). Whether you’re a seasoned poker player or just someone who enjoys a good chuckle, these jokes are sure to entertain you. You glow, girl. For the Love of Pork. An Indian man boards a plane and ends up sitting next to a man from Pakistan. What is your best casino joke? I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Prev. ”. Joke has 66. ”. “Alright,” says the vet. Whether it’s directly about taking a chance, testing your luck, or taking a jab at the unpredictability of life itself, gambling quotes contain some guiding wisdom. Gambling jokes come with some laughing words that make you enabled to pass the time with good feelings without any losses. YES! I WON, I WON!” She hugs each of the de. Shooting for the moon can put you at the bottom of the ocean. You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. 76 % / 3571 votes. 0. They could care less about your well being. A list of poker jokes and humor, culled from TV shows, films, stand-up comedy and pop culture. But, you can always change the machine you are at!”. 13) I put a thousand pounds on a horse. – Roger “Lou Krieger” Lubin. 6. 00:00:00. In my house, we pray after we eat. “You know what,” says the gambler, “Double or nothing; I’ll stand on the edge of your desk, close my eyes, piss into the. Poker Jokes, Casino Humor, Card Game Puns. ”. I figured out how to make a million dollars on the stock market. 16, 2005 | 9:53 a. I've gambled on a third time. Not just is this canine sitting, but he is gambling as well. The Best Demetri Martin One-Liners. The Tops and Sierra Madre casino also have Craps tables, but they only serve as world objects with which one cannot interact. In this paragraph, we have assembled a few of the funniest gambling. ago. We have even come up with a few gambling puns of our own! 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